Ami x Michiru - Chapter 1 - Blue
by JaceyJourdan
Summary: Being the bright and brilliant student that Ami was, she knew answers and solutions to many things but if there was one thing Ami did not completely understand, it was love. Lacking interest in romance unlike other young girls, Ami felt strange and insecure. She secretly wished someone trustworthy could give her some guidance and that person is...?
1. Chapter 1 - Blue -

**Ami x Michiru - Chapter 1 - Blue**

Spring had just begun and so did the new term but there was one girl who already occupied herself with a thick textbook as she ate freshly baked bread. It was after school and Ami was heading to a cram school in Shinjuku. She was wearing a school uniform and she walked with grace about her whether she was aware of it or not. She wore a pair of new glasses that day. Her hair was short and blue. Although she was rather skinny, she was neither weak nor weary. She wrapped a dark blue scarf around her delicate neck as the weather was cold, her hand clutching to her bag and the other was at her side.

It had been more than six months since the battle with Sailor Galaxy took place. Since then all was rather peaceful so she, along with all her friends and comrades resumed their lives like other normal school girls. It was a luxury each of them had been waiting for so Ami thought it was understandable when the cheeky leader, Minako protested a little about her going to cram school. The blonde babe went on and on about how she should try new things and gain new experiences. Ami knew that Minako was right but to her, it was a luxury she could not afford at that moment. Ami was seventeen and university was only around a year away. She had to secure her spot in the faculty she wanted and at the university she wanted.

Ami was sitting in the front row in the classroom as she waited for the class to start in about twenty minutes then a friend at the cram school approached her. Her name was Nami and she was average build and she looked average. Her hair was dark and shoulder length and she had droopy eyes. She greeted Ami cheerfully before she set herself beside her. Nami placed her tote bag on the desk and she grabbed a half eaten hamburger out of it in an instant and then she started eating.

They became a little closer once they realised they shared the same interest in gaming. The girl clearly admired Ami. She said that Ami 'accidentally' looked like the protagonist of a detective fiction that she just started working on. The girl was a huge fan of thriller and writing was another hobby of hers.

There were tiny dark circles around Nami's droopy eyes which could have come from gaming, studying, writing late at night. She once told Ami that her father was a game producer in a huge company but lately he kept complaining about how his new colleagues lacked inspiration and motivation.

Nami leaned in and whispered, "my dad always says recent new released games are all similar like they just copy one another, you know." She did not bother to cover her mouth full of food while talking.

Agreeing with her friend, Ami nodded enthusiastically when she averted her eyes elsewhere.

"You're so clever and super good at playing games," Nami continued. "Do you record video game walkthroughs and post them online? You can easily get paid, you know? Some gamers got a lot of fans by that." Nami gave her an encouraging smile.

"Yeah I heard about that too," said Ami, turning to face her friend, "but I'm so busy and editing video can take quite a lot of time."

"I can record us doing walkthrough if you wanna hang out," Nami said, her eyes full of expectation. There was a brief pause as she was waiting for Ami's response. When the genius girl said nothing, Nami took a bite from her hamburger and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Ami then handed a piece of tissue to her and she took it gladly.

"Thanks," she said with a wide smile and Ami could see a small piece of vegetable on the girl's tooth.

"So you want to be like your father? Producing games," Ami said conversationally.

"Oh, I don't know about that. Dad keeps saying my plot isn't good enough." She took another big bite on her hamburger and chewed roughly a few times before she continued, "He said it's too girly and if it's not appreciated by male audience then it won't make much profits."

Ami tapped her chin thoughtfully. She could see Nami's father's point about how the majority of domestic and international video games were aiming at the opposite sex.

"I know he's not gonna use what I write for a plot of his next game but I just want to prove to him that I can make a good plot too," Nami went on, lifting a finger. "I know I can do it if you give me some help."

"Me?" Ami asked, surprised. "But I'm not good at writing a fiction."

"You've played enough games to know what's good and what's not, right?" She looked at Ami expectantly. "I'm sure you can help me on the parts I've been stuck on for the whole month."

Ami felt a little nervous. It was not something she was familiar with. As she was about to open her mouth and say no, she remembered Minako's words and decided to give it a try. Nami beamed at her.

Nami quickly put down her food and shifted in her seat. "Okay. So here's the thing. My protagonist is so smart that I think creating a random, romantic guy for her would be dull and cliche, you know." she said, her tone serious.

"Like, this girl is the smartest person in her class and she is pretty too. Naturally she should meet a guy who is her equal, right?" Nami said and when she saw Ami nodded, she smiled before she continued, "I want to write a dating scene that's not just a typical romantic date that high school girls dream about. I want something completely new but I also want actions to be in it and I still want it to be romantic."

There was a long pause between them. It took Ami a while to realize that she was supposed to give a response. Trying as hard as she could, she could not come up with a clever idea. For the whole two minutes, Ami just sat there uncomfortably. She made an effort to take her glasses off and pretended to clean them with a clean piece of cloth in order to buy herself some time she needed to gain her composure.

 _She's writing a detective story and she asked for my opinion about love?_ Ami licked her lip nervously. _So many other things that she could have asked but she asked me about love?!_ Ami let out a sigh as she tried to think of something but no, nothing came to her. Love was the one thing that was a puzzle she could never crack.

"Are you okay?" It was Nami who broke the silence.

"I… I don't think I can help," Ami said shyly, her voice quiet and distant.

"Why not?" Nami raised her eyebrows. "Do you … kinda think that maybe a smart girl is too good for guys? To be honest, sometimes I think the same too," Nami said, her expression jovial. "I was hesitated if I should create a smart woman for my protagonist instead. Someone her equal, you know."

Ami held up a hand and said, "that's not what I wanted to say."

It took another minute for Ami to tell her friend that she had never been in love and that she had never had interest in romantic relationship so it was impossible for her to give a noteworthy opinion about the scene her friend was working on. When it was all said and done, the amateur writer's eyes widened.

"You? You've never been…" She covered her mouth with a hand. "Are you joking? But you're so smart and pretty. I thought people ask you out all the time because they say brainy is the new sexy."

Ami shook her head and told her to keep her voice down. The smart girl felt her cheeks hot as she was so embarrassed. "I've never even been on a date," she added and she regretted it as soon as the words got out of her mouth.

Ami shook her head and told her to keep her voice down. The smart girl felt her cheeks hot as she was so embarrassed. "I've never even been on a date," she added and she regretted it as soon as the words got out of her mouth because Nami burst into a laughter that lasted for a minute or two and every pair of eyes in the room were staring at them. It was all Ami could do not to run away from the scene. Ami was never laughed at because of her lack of romantic interest before in her entire life. It was the first time in a long while that she felt dumb. She didn't even know how to make her friend stop her loud and ugly laugh. Luckily, the teacher walked in and it was time the class started so the awkward atmosphere ended quickly though not as quickly as Ami wished it did.

When she was alone, sometimes Ami admittedly couldn't help but wonder what it was like to be in loved. An image of Minako and Rei briefly appeared in her head. Ami dismissed her thought right away. _Why did I think of them? They're friends like the rest of us … aren't they?_

That night Ami studied until she went to bed but all she could think of was about something that she could never understand no matter how much research she did, no matter how many times she read the explanation and no matter how desperately she wished the answer would come to her like everything else. Love cruelly remained a mystery to Ami and if there was anything she hated, it was not knowing what she wanted to know.

 **TO BE CONTINUED.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Secrets -

**Ami x Michiru Chapter 2 - Secrets -**

 **It was Saturday and Ami was up before seven in the morning. She didn't get a good sleep like she usually did. She felt tired and could use half an hour of sating in bed but she forced herself out of it. Like always, there was studying to be done and homework to be finished.**

Her mother already went out so she made breakfast herself. It was a simple meal that consumed no more time than she was willing to spend. Eggs, sandwiches and milk were Ami's usual breakfast. It annoyed her if she had to put her precious time into doing something that would get between her and her studying with the exclusion of her divine duty.

By the time she finished her meal and got dressed, it was nine. She then went into her bedroom where things were placed nicely and neatly. The walls in her room were white and her curtains pale blue. Her mother picked them for her because she thought that blue was a colour that was gentle to one's eyes and mind and it suited Ami well. She was right. Ami knew she had the same effect on other people as well. She was told countless times by her friends that they found her calm personality to be soothing and comforting. Everyone she met told her that blue was the perfect colour for her. Ami had no doubt about their judgement but sometimes she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to be like other people, who suited other colours. By far, Ami had no objection about being favoured for her calming effect and she intended to live up to expectations. All she had to do was maintaining her perfect performance and never let anyone know about her secrets and her darker side.

Ami had already planned the night before which subject she was going to study that day. By far, she was following her schedule well. If she followed the schedule strictly, she should be able to finish another thin textbook by the end of the night.

Truth be told, Ami was not angry that her nosy friend at the cram school laughed at her for saying she had no interest in romance and for having never been on a date. If anything, Nami made her realise that once college life started, new people that she met might think she was strange like how the students in her school used to think. She was aware that she was not confident enough to ignore remarks about her lack of interest in love. Ami admittedly felt pressure as three of her close friends who had never been in a relationship, had tasted love and loss and broken heart.

She frowned as she was reminded who she was; a girl who had always done well academically and nothing more. The first time she felt herself physically weakest among all her friends, she decided that her intelligence would make up for it.

 _But is it enough?_

Makoto was strong and caring, Minako was cheerful and charismatic. Rei was confident and mysterious. Usagi seemed to have so many good qualities when she was at her best as princess Serenity. Usagi in her younger years was funny and friendly and gentle. It all came down to this; all of her friends were a lot of different things but Ami was only one. She was blue and she didn't know how to be anything else and yesterday was a proof that society would deem it a flaw. There were times when Ami filled herself with dreadful doubts. There were times when she wanted to be more than just calm. She wanted to be cool and confident. Yet all she seemed to have was a darker side of her that she could never show. _I don't even like that side of me_ , Ami thought bitterly.

Ami set herself on a chair in front of her studying desk and placed her hair behind her ear before she looked at the clock. It was time to start her study for the day. All of her friends were busy with their own business. No new enemies to fight. No one would come to bother her. It was the kind of day she had hoped for for so long. Just books and herself in a perfectly serene atmosphere. Everything will go as plan, she thought, smiling to herself but then she spotted a black journal at the corner of her eye. She grabbed it swiftly and frantically put it in the farthest corner of her lowest drawer and locked it. It was done in a single swift movement as though the blue haired girl feared that someone would see her even if she was perfectly aware that no one else was home.

"How did I leave it there?" She muttered, her tone anxious. Her hands went on her head and the reckless touch turned her hair disarray. _Did my mom see it? Did she read it?_ Ami rubbed her face with one hand then she bit her nail nervously. _No, she couldn't have otherwise there'd have been the longest lecture in my entire life_. Ami let out a sigh of relief. In her normal life, there was nothing scarier than her filthy dreams being exposed. Her journal held the unspeakable truth that Ami herself deemed it forbidden and unacceptable. Several pages were filled with the stories of her dreams where she was with a beautiful woman who caressed her breasts and body with such soft lips and gentle touch. It would not have been so embarrassing if the woman were someone she didn't know in real life. It should have been a complete stranger. A movie star. Someone she met once but didn't remember. Anyone at all. Yet the woman she was with in her dreams was always none other than Michiru, her own friend.

Ami leaned her elbows on the desk, her hot face buried in her palms. She remembered the first time she had that kind of lustful dream and how easily she brushed it off, telling herself it was nothing more than what it was. Only a dream. A meaningless dream. Then night after night she dreamt about being with Michiru. Day after day she longed for her touch. Soon it dawned on Ami that she was into her beautiful friend. For several months, Ami lived in fears for she knew she would never be able to go on if she was rejected by society and her mother. Everything she had worked for would turn to waste.

Looking back, Ami could not believe that she convinced herself to write her desires and dreams in a journal. She thought she was foolish for thinking even for a moment that doing such a thing would make the feelings pass. If anything,They only grew so strong that she feared she would inevitably be consumed by it. _Will I throw it all away and throw myself at her, begging to be loved?_ As smart as she was, she had no slightest clue what to do or whom to talk to, let alone how to get rid of her forbidden desires. There were too many mornings that Ami woke up and Michiru was the first person she thought about. There were countless nights that she tried not to give into the tingling sensation in her chest but she failed. Never once did she not think of the beautiful artist while reaching her hand down to touch the wetness between her thighs. At the end of it, a rush of shame and guilt washed over her because Michiru belonged to someone else. Someone Ami could never compare herself to. On top of it, Haruka was, too, her friend. She did not dare imagine how uncomfortable she would feel if she met either of them. She desperately hoped that whatever she was facing was just a phase and eventually it would end. _I'm sure I can make it go away. No one will know. Michiru will never know,_ she thought.

Ami had never been so wrong.


	3. Chapter 3 - Black - Part 1

**Ami x Michiru Chapter 3 - Black - Part 1**

 **After half an hour of repeatedly reading a few pages more than twice, Ami came to admit to herself that she couldn't find it in her to continue.**

It was more like struggling to keep herself focusing on studying than actually studying. She took a deep breath, trying to find a solution but it wasn't there. Ami rose to her feet and started pacing pointlessly around her room, trying to find anything to keep her mind off of forbidden fantasy between her and her friend. She promised herself that she would not get lost into thinking about the woman in her dreams. Today would be the day she quit such shameful addiction.

She rubbed her temples and told herself that she would take a little break. It wouldn't take long. She would just check emails, get something to drink and then she would promptly get back to studying.

Ami went inside the kitchen to make a cup of coffee then she sat in front of her laptop which was clean and simple in style. It was some of a few things that wasn't blue. It was black. Though she was not certain it suited her.

After checking emails, Ami forgot herself and religiously followed her routine; checking updates of every social websites of Michiru's that she knew. Right at that moment she forgot all that she had planned. Her brow arched when she saw Michiru's latest status update which said that Michiru was back in Tokyo. _And by herself_ , Ami observed. No sign of the handsome racer. Ami took a moment to reflect her own online activity. _Maybe it's creepy_ , she thought. _But it's not like I'm going to stalk her in real life or anything. There's absolutely no harm in looking at her photos. Or reading her status or profile or saving her photos in my laptop_. She rubbed her face and ran her hand roughly through her short hair, small cowlicks sprang up here and there. Browsing through those photos of Michiru turned her on.

 _What am I doing?_ Ami covered her face in her palms as she felt her desire was growing and burning. She tried to fight it but she failed. Never once that she would have thought it would turn into a disastrous distraction that broke her focus day after day and drove her wild night after night. After a while, Ami gave up to the temptation.

 _It'll be one last time_ , she told herself the way she did for the last two weeks.

Before her hand could travel down from her torso to her sensitive part, a doorbell rang. Her head turned to the door then she straightened her shirt and quickly adjusted her hair before she went to see who it was.

When she peaked through a peephole, a smile crept on her face. She swung the door open and warmly welcomed her friend. Minako greeted her cheerfully before she took a step inside. Her black shirt made her long golden hair seem to glow more than usual and when she smiled Ami's world seemed to brighten a little more.


End file.
